


dreaming in the dusk

by noseforsatu (berryargento)



Series: duskdreaming [4]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: F/F, Post-Black Eagles Route (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-24
Updated: 2019-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:40:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21549496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berryargento/pseuds/noseforsatu
Summary: As she arrived in front of the door before her decision lies, Lysithea questioned herself: does the future have a place for her?The last installment of duskdreaming series.
Relationships: Hilda Valentine Goneril/Lysithea von Ordelia
Series: duskdreaming [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1523537
Kudos: 16





	dreaming in the dusk

Lysithea could say that the past week she spent in her remaining Hyrm-Ordelia survey passed in a quick blur. The problem that Ferdinand posed about recurring market survivability could be answered with ease, but Lysithea could not easily handle Hilda and her (torrent of) curious inquiries.

Hilda said she had ever come to Ordelia territory before, though not too long enough for her to survey the scenery. Ordelia, just like Hyrm, is situated facing Airmid river, though on opposite sides. If one going from Alliance to Empire, the route will be passing on Ordelia territory before The Great Bridge of Myrddin. There’s another possible routes by threading the border between Faerghus and Alliance, but it is far too troublesome to do.

Hilda then asked Lysithea about a lot of things, be it in general as of how the people in area are faring, to incredulous questions like how many sweets that Lysithea and Jeritza ever shared as a bribe from Ferdinand who tried to appease them.

“Where’s your parents’ house, though? We’ve been staying in Hyrm aside Ordelia and you never mentioned about them.”

Hilda asked the most important question once as they accompanied Ferdinand on another field survey, this time to a farm area around the river.

“They are not here anymore," Lysithea studied the change on Hilda’s expression, effectively cut her before she could sprout any means of sympathy. “They have suffered a lot, so I asked Edelgard to let them be while leaving the lands to me and the government officials.”

There was a sigh of relief coming from Hilda, her carefree smile returned, “I ever heard that you don’t want to inherit Ordelia House, is that correct?”

The corner of Lysithea’s eyes twitched, “From Lorenz, huh?”

“Oh, no, it's Claude.” Hilda corrected.

There’s no escaping him, the Master Tactician – she should know better. Lysithea didn’t remember sharing anything about her plan to Claude, or maybe she happened to slip up, just like what happened as she talked to Lorenz. Lorenz was dead set about inheriting noble blood and all that it made Lysithea sick, though he eventually mellowed and accepted a broader way of thinking.

Claude also knew that Lysithea had her own gamble by the Empire that he set up the right stage for her, so it shouldn’t be surprising that he was aware about the idea of ending the Ordelia bloodline.

“If you don’t want to answer then it’s fine, I—“

“No, I can tell you,” Lysithea said. “I never planned on inheriting House of Ordelia because of my short lifespan.”

Hilda blinked at the mention, her mouth was open but she didn’t bring herself to speak of anything. Beyond them, Ferdinand seemed to be having fun with his conversation enough to not pay attention to whatever they are discussing.

Her short lifespan might not be a secret anymore in the circle of Crest researcher. Outside them, Lysithea only told a handful of people who can keep the secret, like Professor Byleth. Edelgard understood her situation because her own experience, so it goes beyond saying.

As to Hilda right now, Lysithea just wanted to confide—she knew that Hilda would keep it to herself. Also, Lysithea felt that it is the right time for Hilda to listen.

Lysithea continued, “Well, there is already a method to get back those years that’s stolen from us. That, however, doesn’t mean that I should inherit the house all the same.”

“I can see you stayed on Enbarr by Edelgard’s side, though. As … maybe her left leg? Since right and left hand man position is taken.”

Lysithea smiled, albeit dryly, “I can’t deny the possibilities,” she closed her eyes.

The sight of her office by the main palace of Enbarr is fresh in her mind. It was not bad. The work maybe endless at times, but she feels safe and content. She is sure that her power can be of a use of the new Fodlan. Edelgard is an open-minded leader. And also with her cause, Lysithea felt she can discover a better possibilities.

“But I think I have secured another option.”

At that, Hilda looked up to her. Her garnet eyes were shimmering. Hilda was visibly waiting. Lysithea paused for a bit, before placing an index finger between them.

“… It’s a secret.”

“Eehh!? How can you say that after all those!? Tell me, Lys!”

“Secret.” She smiled in triumph as she repeated.

Not to mention, Lysithea could say that the option itself is not exact. She might fail. She needed further reassurance. She needed to rethink of her option. She needed a moment to sort her thoughts before she eventually make a decision that she may regret. She needed some time alone, and sadly the trip won’t provide such luxury just yet.

“You have a gal, huh, for teasing me,” Hilda puffed her cheeks.

Lysithea never meant of any teasing, really. It’s more to her hiding her uncertainties now, especially as the said ‘option’ is in front of her.

“You’ll regret later.”

“Oh, bring it on, Hilda.”

They dissolved the possible friction with heartfelt laughter. Ferdinand came back to see them later with a hard crease on his forehead and a shake of head. He bemoaned something of helping him out for taking notes of the people’s needs for wintertime and the two women whisked away to work as if nothing had happened.

_There is still time –_ Lysithea said to herself. _There is still time for her to think it over before deciding._

* * *

Roughly a week later, the monthly inspection is done and they embarked to Enbarr. Riding with Hilda on her brown-skinned wyvern once more, they arrived in the crowded capital city in shortest trip possible from the Fort Merceus. Of course, they waited for Ferdinand before Hilda doing yet another check by the gate. They already did at Merceus, and Ferdinand apologized for security measures. Hilda shrugged at the apology, telling him that the checks are okay as long as they won’t catch Hilda out of sudden for unreasonable charges (this is a joke, Lysithea knew it).

The dirt road is now finally connected to the gravel and pavement, as the great wooden door before the fortress wall that housed the capital of Adrestian Empire lies ahead of them.

The trip outside might be short, but Lysithea felt that the capital is somehow different. Perhaps it is because she embarked to Hyrm with heaviness in her heart, then she is back with a little ease of mind. There’s lightness in her steps, and her chest swelled in anticipation that she never know ever existed before. She always choose the path where she would success. She would always thrive until she got what she wanted. She never yield on any gambles of life as she has no time for failures. But now, as she is reeling between dreams and reality, she has to get her hands on spinning the Wheel of Fortune, she highly hopes that a ‘beginner’s luck’ is there to bless her.

That being said, there’s a lot to mull over when she’s finally alone; of her wants, of her doubts, and of her own final verdict.

First thing first, however, it appears that Hilda needed a tour of the town.

Hilda was basically beaming at the sight of Enbarr, given as the pinkette never set her foot there before. Hilda is practically glowing, eyes widening as she embraced the sight within her eyes, a huge grin on her face. Lysithea ever experienced the same sense of euphoria when Hanneman brought her to Fhirdiad. Lysithea was ever in the former capital of Faerghus for a war before, so when she was prompted to see the rebuilt Fhirdiad, it was a pure joy.

To set foot on the place that once unknown will invoke an excitement, one after another.

“Will you be okay on your own, Lys? I need to leave for the palace; Hubert should’ve been waiting.” Ferdinand nudged on Lysithea, then to Hilda who’s enjoying herself by looking left and right to the glorified old town.

“Say hello to Edelgard for me. I’ll be back to the palace shortly.”

“Noted.”

For once, Lysithea caught a knowing look coming from Ferdinand as he gave once-over to her and Hilda. Maybe he already have the same look since then in Hyrm, but Lysithea only happened to realize it just now. As much as Lysithea wanted to ask Ferdinand of what he had in mind, she decided to save the conversation later when Hilda is not around.

The Prime Minister then paced his horse, saying his farewells to both Hilda and Lysithea as he took off.

“He sure is busy,” Hilda commented. One of the guard at the entrance already secured her wyvern somewhere else on Ferdinand’s behalf. She can take it away later if needed. “You don’t follow him?”

“I want to show you the town,” Lysithea directed to the vast view of town right before her. “Or if you already know your way around, then, sure. My papers should be waiting for me.”

“Oh! And I thought you’ll desert me as soon as we arrived at Enbarr!” Hilda piped in with her dose of sarcasm. Lysithea boasted a sigh and faked on fleeing, “Okay, okay! Please show me the town.”

Lysithea couldn’t help but puffing her chest upon the slight amount of pride. Hilda clearly cringed at that, which added to Lysithea’s own amusement. “Follow me.”

* * *

The capital Enbarr might have not much of a sight to see as the sea area is far to the west, but the historical buildings in the town is well-preserved with about thousands of historical year. The town might be close to mountain range, but the climate is sometimes hot as the summer hits. Unlike Derdriu, Enbarr is not situated too close to the pier. Perhaps the town was built as it is with the thick fortress wall surrounding it as to avoid Dagda’s invasion.

There are some parts of the town that can be seen as an upper class area and lower class area, but the Emperor herself is vocal about her society of no classes and statuses, making the occupants are less biased than before.

Some cases of thieves may occurring around the dark alleys though—life has never been any easier for anybody even as the wall between statuses slowly removed.

But of course, Hilda won’t hear her if she started to talk about geographical, historical, or political situation, so Lysithea simply gives a bare outlook of town – places to go when Hilda needed to go if she’s wounded, also the vendors that can give a good price bargain at the local market, and the administration building located there for Hilda to work on her license for artisan school.

“I heard that Enbarr has a beautiful beach?” Hilda piped.

Lysithea pondered for a bit. Hilda is not wrong. Yet, Lysithea is never personally go to the beach aside from taking a bare glimpse of it from her office room and from the balcony.

“We’re not allowed to get close to the beach around the cold month.” Lysithea answered. “But I guess the port area should be accessible.”

“Oh! Oh! Can we go there?”

“Nope.”

“Aww.”

In all honesty, Lysithea wanted to show Hilda to some of the eye-catching landmarks, like the Enbarr hall where festivities gather, or the grand bridge that separated the commercial and residential areas, or the port at the outskirt of the town, but Lysithea assured herself that it can be left for another day.

She has yet to make her report to the palace, after all.

“What’s up with that crowd, Lys?”

“Oh, that? It’s nearby the headquarters of Mittelfrank Opera Company,”

“Mittelfrank?” Hilda repeated. “That means, Professor Manuela is here?”

“She may, but I’m not so sure. Edelgard called her often to the palace to ask for her opinion.” Lysithea explained. “The last time I ever see Professor Manuela here was when she is wasted around the bar area …”

Hilda giggled at the mention, “She never changes, huh.”

Lysithea perked up to see the spot where loud instruments being played in a glimpse of a parade. It’s that one of opening scene that the troupe showed for this month’s performance.

Thankfully, Lysithea didn’t need to explain in detail about Mittelfrank Opera Company to Hilda. The theater’s popularity is nationwide after all, not to mention that they held a performance out of Enbarr as they traveled around Fodlan. Their former schoolmate and former teacher were also originated from this renowned theater, so even Hilda never watch their performance for once, she at least knew it by the name and about the quality of their singers.

Speaking of this month’s performance, Lysithea recalled Edelgard ever showed her the poster once, saying that they will need to watch it when they have time. The lead performing actresses of four are wearing a dress of blazing red color. The main theme of the show is about bravery and perseverance.

Lysithea turned to see Hilda seemingly excited to watch the crowd, despite unable to see the actual performance as there are a lot of people blocking the view. The snow-haired woman couldn’t help but to crack a smile. That excitement—that expression of elation makes Lysithea happy as well.

“Actually, our next destination would be the area around the back of the headquarters.”

“We can’t watch it first?”

“No, Hilda. I don’t have time now.” Lysithea paused. “Maybe someday?”

At that, Hilda shot her a surprised look. Lysithea couldn’t take back her words, instead, she strode away as she had said nothing before Hilda got a chance to ask further.

Going around the block to avoid the parade crowd, they traversed along small alleys not far from the renowned Mittelfrank building. Walking down to its steep stone stairs, they arrived at a packed alley with bars and hostels to its left and right, cascading further down. The bar has yet to open in the afternoon and the alley is pretty much deserted from its inhabitants whom actively searching for patrons.

“I … don’t know what you might be thinking right now, but isn’t it too early for this?”

Lysithea felt her cheeks burn. “It’s—it’s not what you may think of, okay?”

“And here I thought that Caspar might have introduced you to a worldly experience or two? Or maybe it’s the Professor!”

“That’s not funny, Hilda.”

Lysithea was about to take another turn at the first alley when they heard of a girl’s scream from the backstage area of the opera company. This expanse of bar and hostels is sometimes treated as an extension of the troupe, where at times the patrons would happen to converse with ladies from the stage in their resting times. There are unpleasant rumors afloat regarding of some stage actresses took an advantage of the nobles while selling their bodies, but at least someone whom Lysithea knew would never do such a thing.

They approached the back alley to get a glimpse of an old man in his expensive cashmere tuxedo was pulling on an actress’s red dress. There are usually some of theater’s staffs guarding on the back alley since most of actresses have their changing room at the back, but it is completely empty now. His other hand was clutching on a bottle of wine. From the conversation they could barely hear, the old man is nowhere sober. His speech was a mix of slur and gibberish flirting, and the woman is powerless to defend herself as the man grabbed on her arm.

The snow-haired woman clicked her tongue. She could see Hilda just beside her was ready to punch the guy in any given time, but her magic traveled faster than anything and created lesser disturbing sound than necessary.

It was only a flick of Nosferatu that sent the man flying to hit the ceiling with a hard thud, debris of the wooden roof came falling with his limp body as he dropped unconscious on the floor later. Hilda blinked, so was the assailed woman. They perhaps needed to explain later about the property damage but Lysithea could care less.

“_What in the_—oh, it’s you, Lysithea.”

“Perfect timing, Dorothea.” The snow-haired woman sighed. A certain brunette stepped in the alley after the ruckus. She was wearing a white dress. Lysithea guessed that Dorothea might not be the part of spotlight in this performance. Even then, Dorothea is standing prim. As though she is going for the most expensive ball in town and ready to face countless array of suitors she has yet to acknowledge.

“Wait, you’re not going to scold her first?” Hilda asked, though she was half-sneering.

“If anything, I’d like to reward her for her continuous help. I can’t use my magic. It will ruin my dress and my makeup.” the diva said coolly. By the familiarity, Hilda surely able to guess that such feat happened more than once. Though, Lysithea was not there to brag, she only happened to be in the right place at the right moment.

Dorothea looked to the area just behind them then back to the young woman in red dress. She was shaking. Her fit of bravery must have been worn off from earlier. With a gentle touch, Dorothea took both of her hands, guiding her to the nearest room there.

“Oh, mind helping me to haul the man in the dumpster, Hilda? I’ll try to calm this girl first.”

“I was _just_ about to ask.”

* * *

After taking the old man to the place he deserved to be, Dorothea asked them to meet her at the bar next door. The bar has not opened for business yet. The barista, a blonde woman in her late thirties dressed with a modest looking monochrome-colored suit and bow tie, is cleaning the tables at the moment when Dorothea came in with the two.

The barmaid—or, Lysithea could say, the barista—welcomed them and Dorothea asked for a tea set that she could use. There was a bit of argument over who will serve the tea. In the end, Dorothea surrendered to the barista’s insistence to serve the tea, while initially Dorothea just wanted to borrow the kitchen. And the service is free of charge, Dorothea couldn’t argue more after that.

“I worked here before so Master is like a family to me,” Dorothea referred to the barista, whom delivering the tea to the three. She bowed in mention, then trotted back to her cleaning spree. “And, well. I’d never expect to see you again, Hilda.”

Lysithea dropped three blocks of sugar to her tea as the two shared a hug.

“Has it been, like, two years?”

“Close, but I guess it is one and a half. After that battle at Derdriu.”

Lysithea’s eyes twitched at the mention, though she kept her silence, sipping on the tea. The amount of sugar didn’t seem satisfactory, she would love to add two blocks later, but maybe when Hilda and Dorothea are not looking. Or, she would likely be an object of teasing.

“So Edie spared you. I was worried when I heard an explosion from the city. I was tasked to annihilate Wyvern Riders on the dock.” the brunette’s shoulders slumped.

Lysithea only knew later that Dorothea was greatly affected by the war. It was not a simple sympathy, Lysithea could tell whether someone shed fake tears. She was not an actress of many faces or a diva with a lot of voices—she is someone with a gentle soul. Lysithea respected Dorothea after listening to her vision at how she sees the sight of her former schoolmates were wounded, and even worse, dying. At times, Edelgard allowed her to sing a ballad for the dead within the mass funeral, though she wasn’t be able to sing without crying.

Despite her wounded heart, however, Dorothea supported Black Eagles’ Strike Force with her all—her strength, her ideas, even her own life to protect Edelgard’s and their ideals.

Hilda, seeing Dorothea withdrawn her eyes away, smiled, “Those things happened in war,” she patted on Dorothea’s shoulder. “But now, you are all worked hard to maintain the peace, right?”

Dorothea nodded, “Of course.”

They averted the conversation to something lighter, like, Hilda asked of where Manuela is at the moment. Dorothea smiled at the mention of Manuela, proudly stating her beloved senior joined the Mittelfrank Opera Company with her once again, seizing the stage. Her knowledge is also needed to the unified Fodlan, rendering her as one of Edelgard’s trusted advisor. Dorothea also said something about the rumor regarding Manuela’s possible positioning as the new Minister of Religion, but as of now, she is making use of the time to the fullest to nurture the Troupe back to its former glory and soaring even more.

Hilda exchanged her story about artisan school in a form of shorter recap than Lysithea heard as she shared it to Ferdinand. Though, she didn’t mention of wanting to expand her school in Enbarr - perhaps it is a well-keep secret for her until the day she can open a branch in Enbarr and surprise everybody.

Dorothea was amused to know from Hilda about what happened with Lorenz and Claude and their recurring connection in building partnership between Fodlan and Almyra.

“Speaking of former enemy though, it seems Miss Ordelia here is enjoying her stand of having a ‘no comment’ policy.” The pinkette sneered. Lysithea was close to spit her tea out. Dorothea even laughed at the obvious conversation bait.

“Hey! I’m—I’m just trying to not disturb your heartfelt conversation!” Lysithea retorted. “I did became the part of Black Eagles, so, do you want to call me traitor now?”

“Language, Lysithea.”

The brunette tried to quell her outburst to no avail. Dorothea didn’t take any stance as Hilda cackled. She poured another batch to Lysithea’s half-empty cup while the snow-haired woman stared daggers at Hilda. The look of terror, of course, didn’t hold any water to Hilda.

“Now, now. I never hold any grudge~” Hilda beamed wide. She spun her cup, but she didn’t drink any of the tea. “You’ll always be a Golden Deer anyway.”

As if a spell was cast, Lysithea is rendered silent. The snow-haired woman averted her gaze down to the cup, to the reflection of her reddened face upon the clear drops of tea. Knowing the response, however, Hilda didn’t pursue. From the corner of her red eyes, Lysithea got a glimpse of Hilda folding her hands on the square tavern table.

If anything, the remark didn’t make her embarrassed. It made her heart swell. She was, deep inside her mind, glad that she didn’t betray anybody. Her action might be one of betrayal to join the stronger side, to join the side that had obliterated the Leicester Alliance. Heck, there’s no salvation for the betrayer, Lysithea knew that she _is _betraying the Deer. There is no use on glazing it over.

Then again, after she heard such simple expression - something that is plain but conveyed a strong emotion beneath, she could say she is close to tears.

_After all these years, she is still a part of Golden Deer._

Golden Deer might not be the most brilliant class ever shaped there in the history of Garreg Mach’s Officers Academy, nor becoming a perfect sample of the Leicester Alliance as a whole. Undeniably, Golden Deer is a place she ever call as home. A place where she could be true to herself. The first time she ever be so helpful to anybody. A place where she can experience to be with others. Like a legendary creature that said to protect the Alliance, Golden Deer provides her a shelter away from the inevitable.

Also, Golden Deer is the place that allowed _them_ to meet; the noble statuses and dark pasts be damned.

“... Thank you. That—that makes me really happy, Hilda.” Lysithea looked up to meet Hilda’s gaze. The latter had her eyes rounded, a tinge of pink colored her cheeks. With an awkward cough as a pause, Hilda made her leeway.

“You’re welcome anytime.”

Dorothea spared a hum as the quiet, comfortable atmosphere is setting in. She then turned to Hilda, the corner of her lips curved up slightly and her brows wiggled. Hilda, on the cue, glared at Dorothea.

“I see, so that’s how it was.”

“What’s that was, Dorothea?” Lysithea asked.

“Nothing~” the diva shrugged. “Maybe Edie would be surprised to know it later.”

Lysithea couldn’t help but to be confused, all in the while Hilda finally sipped on her tea like nothing had happened.

* * *

After the small tea break, Lysithea escorted Hilda to the final stop before she would scurry back to the palace. Beyond the arrays of hotels, hostels, bars and taverns, cheap rooms are being rented just at the back of the infamous alleys. The state of building wasn’t that far off from their old dormitory in Garreg Mach with its sturdy stone wall, in which why Lysithea chose the place. She knew the place from Dorothea, something about someone rented cheap rooms that’s targeted to the Mittelfrank Opera Company members.

Edelgard ever said about wanting to give Lysithea a proper housing, but Lysithea refused, saying that she couldn’t accept Edelgard’s generosity of being able to become a part of Black Eagle’s Strike Force. She could say she would never become an integral part in Edelgard’s team as she was initially an outsider. Their collective arguments are growing as a list until Edelgard gave up and let Lysithea can decide on whatever she wanted to do.

They stopped by the first door just before the staircase leading to the top floor of the establishment.

Along the way, Hilda continued off with the idle chatters. Mostly it’s about how gallant Dorothea is at the mention of handling a trashy man like earlier. Talking with Hilda surely brings back a lot of memories. They have yet to converse a lot at Hyrm as Lysithea was busy with Ferdinand and Hilda’s question directed more to what they were doing. Within their trips on the wyvern, too, Lysithea didn’t talk much and Hilda didn’t initiate anything, letting the comfortable silence went still.

Their conversations are more relaxed now after the tea and a little catch-ups, maybe she should thank Dorothea for it later.

“This is actually my rented room, but I hardly come back here as I’m busy.”

The rented place was small but still bigger than their former dormitory with separate room for bedroom. The sparse kitchen area and a little space for Lysithea to throw her book case and an accompanying couch for her to read are combined as the other room. Lysithea kept the room tidy even though she came back rarely in one week. She would make sure that the book she happened to read didn’t scatter around, and took out trash from there on the scheduled time.

“Do you sleep on the table in your office by the palace?” Hilda spared a suspecting gaze.

Lysithea, of course, couldn’t deny. “Well, sometimes.”

“Figures,” Hilda shook her head. “Really, you should aim for a better lifestyle with times to get beauty sleep.”

“I’ll think of that.”

The pinkette had a disapproving wince on her face for long, before she finally shrugged, both hands up in the air as she sighed. Lysithea laughed at that, knowing what Hilda might be thinking about her non-committal remark.

“I’ll return more to here since you’ll be living here—“ Lysithea effectively cut herself. She is jumping on conclusions so fast, she disliked it. She felt her own cheeks burn. She hoped that Hilda was not seeing that. “—if, if you’d like to stay here until your school is built, that’s it.”

Hilda had her jaw tight. She gave the room one hard look with hands on her hips, as though the landlord has found something foul in the area. Hilda then looked back to Lysithea.

“Well, I can’t say no to a free place to crash,” a pause. “As long as you don’t mind.”

“I will never be,” Lysithea replied. “Though, can’t really promise that I’d be back before evening.”

“No worries! I’d be busy with paperwork anyway, so I might not be going back that fast either,” the pinkette explained. “Wait, you do have a spare key, right?”

“I do.”

“Then that’s good.”

It sure feels a bit awkward now, it is in the air. Perhaps springing all of these details to Hilda while keeping herself not too immersed with the flow has its drawbacks. She has yet to give herself time and space to think about everything. Yet, she couldn’t leave Hilda all by herself as she is a guest now in Enbarr.

Over one and a half year, they finally meet – not as ashes after the war, but as a ‘new’ individual with ‘different’ purposes.

One and a half year is the gap between them; Lysithea was determined to close the gap but at the same time, she is treading on a fine line she never dared to walk across. She is terrified. She is anxious. She is burdened with both her rational and her irrational side of selves in shaping decision. Lysithea von Ordelia who once feared failure in uncertainties, wanting to take the highest stake.

[What if Hilda rejected her? / What if she disappeared first before she is able to speak it?]

“Say, Lys?”

Within the deep forest or within the abysmal ocean, that exact voice made her forget—as it is magically pulling her back to the surface in an instant. Hilda took her hand and gave it a light squeeze, as to ask of Lysithea’s full attention.

Her eyes, as Lysithea gazed squarely to her, held the same light that she remembered from back then in Derdriu.

“Yes?”

“Will I be allowed to make something for you as a thank-you gift?”

Lysithea was surprised that she remembered the way to the palace after the sudden surge of both happiness and giddiness. She could only hope that the palace guard didn’t spot her while she is practically having this strange curve of smile at her lips.

* * *

Earlier, Hilda said something about making her something—an accessory—as a form of her gratitude. The said accessory will be the one Hilda showed at the opening of the artisan school branch in Enbarr, as long as the things sailing smoothly for her. The pinkette then said to Lysithea to give her time about a month for everything.

She would need to ask Marianne first with the formal procedures and observed a spot where she could have an artisan school there by the government official’s approval. Lysithea bid her a good luck, saying that she won’t try to bother Hilda while she is fired up – and try to not mention or ask about artisan school if they are meeting together.

An accessory for Lysithea. A specially-made accessory for her. Lysithea cannot deny every ounce of excitement she is having right now. Though it would be not as different as a bangle that Marianne received as Hilda proposed the idea of artisan school, and how the accessory will be a sample for students later, Lysithea doesn’t care. The exact mention about how Hilda wanted to gift her a tailored accessory is already more than enough.

Lysithea never received gifts before—some flowers from her teacher as a birthday commemoration doesn’t count—so the idea of being gifted something handmade is new to her.

“You look so happy, Lysithea.”

And, speak of the devil, a certain ex-mercenary and now ex-professor of Officer’s Academy was the one greeting her as Lysithea took a corner before her office door. That being said, everyone still love to address her as ‘Professor’, despite not being a teacher anymore. The person on question didn’t seem to mind about it, as if the title is a mark of honor that’s even better than being mentioned as a ‘Hero of Fodlan’.

Byleth Eisner gave her small smile when Lysithea bowed, having difficulties to quickly raise her head as she is embarrassed. Professor has spotted her smiling like an idiot – it sure is not exactly a good predicament, though Byleth is never one to tease anyone except her betrothed.

“Good, good afternoon, Professor. What brings you to come here?”

“I’m collecting some of documents in Edelgard’s behalf. She is having a council meeting right now,” she explained. “And well, as you’re already here, Edelgard wanted to see you after her meeting. Maybe she’ll come to you later.”

Lysithea blinked at the message. “Edelgard wanted to see me? Didn’t Ferdinand give his report already? I don’t want to disturb Edelgard in her busiest hour.”

Byleth paused for a bit, she folded her gauntlet-clad arms on her chest. “I think it was because of Ferdinand’s additional information about you.”

It surely slipped her mind that she was wounded when battling against the bandits after her reckless judgment. The wound is already healed during the time at Hyrm and she no longer have to keep the bandages on, but she couldn’t deny the nature of her action. Ferdinand should have said about the wound and her acts in a label of desperation, or something close to the description.

It might not be the first time for it and Lysithea ever got a great amount of scolding from Edelgard because of it. But to be reported of her recklessness again, she might tarnish Edelgard’s good name, not to mention she’d make Edelgard worried. After all these years knowing about the situation they were in, they were keeping up with each other’s condition, even it is not as blatant as a constant stream of asking about each other’s state of health every day.

“Right, I … I should properly apologize.”

The blue-haired woman angled her head in questioning manner, “What’s there to apologize for? Ferdinand talked about you and Hilda.”

Her brows went askew, “Hilda?”

“Yes, Ferdinand said to Edelgard earlier that the two of you are lovely together despite not having to meet for so long. Also about your lateness because you wanted to escort her to town—wait, Lysithea where are you going?”

“Prime Minister’s Office.” Lysithea said. “I want to give Ferdinand a piece of my Death T.”

“Lysithea, wait. No. Lysithea!”

* * *

Of all the tea time she ever shared with Edelgard, it is the first time Lysithea noticed the hard stare coming from the Adrestian Emperor’s violet eyes. Byleth, who’s happened to be nearby, offered to serve the tea and cakes, Lysithea let the Professor be as she is trying to form any means of explanations. Edelgard is nowhere her mom but she is one of the biggest worrywart ever, if Lysithea could say it out loud.

Edelgard decided that the balcony near Lysithea’s office to be the place of their tea time. It should only be short, as Byleth said to Lysithea that she and Edelgard would embark for Arianrhod later for an official duty. They wanted to reopen the Silver Maiden for public after the renovation, or so Lysithea heard.

It’s not like Lysithea was caught to do something underhanded, she just wanted to avoid being judged.

As Byleth placed respective trays of tea and arranged the cake on the set, Lysithea didn’t bring herself to touch anything. Byleth is free to join the table, but she chose not to. She stayed right behind Edelgard like how Hubert usually is, but Edelgard dismissed her, whispering something that Lysithea couldn’t hear. The Professor walked back after giving Lysithea a thumbs up (which is, maybe the most expressive thing her Professor can do aside of the tiniest of her smile) as an attempt on trying to calm Lysithea.

Edelgard is not wearing her cape, but her horn decorum by her hair made her look more menacing than ever. The Emperor has always been one who seem intimidating, as her prowess and her upbringing exemplified her to be. They have been becoming a good friend from awhile now, yet at times like this, Lysithea found herself to hold back her tongue.

“I heard what happened, you were wounded during a battle with bandits while aiding the Locket’s fortress guard duty,” Edelgard began, adding more tension. “Perhaps I should take a visit to Duke Goneril to remind him not to eat too much of … adventurous food.”

“We disposed them without problem,” one hard stare and fake cough from Edelgard was enough for her to amend her claims, “… Well, Hilda showed up and helped me.”

Edelgard has this chuckle of amusement. “So, is this ‘the person’ you ever told me before?”

They had this conversation before. The one they shared together, only the two of them, at the calm afternoon in-between the breeze in the middle of Red Wolf Moon. She did said to push the topic aside at that time as she was not ready. But now, she has to bite the bullet.

“… Yes.” Lysithea confessed. Before Edelgard could say anything in follow-up, Lysithea continued. “But I have found it; about her opinion of the world that we shaped, and about my own answer.”

Edelgard rested her chin on the joints of her crossed fingers. Her eyes closed, “I still see some doubts in your eyes,” Lysithea shuddered. “Do you not trust your decision?”

“I …”

Lysithea sighed. Edelgard, of course, could see through her as much as she tried to hide it. No, it’s more like she couldn’t lie, especially to someone with the same – or even, greater burdens than her to bear.

“I’m afraid,” the snow-haired woman said, her voice shaking. “While I have assured myself from long ago that I don’t mind of not being able to be with others who walked through the new dawn, when seeing that I’m trying to take this step – I’m afraid.”

Edelgard didn’t interrupt her rambling, nor looking down at her. She is there, unblinking, not even moving to sip her tea or enjoy the cakes.

“I know you have told me countless times that we will regain the days that we lost, but still …” Lysithea felt the corner of her eyes burning, yet she is unable to cry it out. “I, I don’t want my decision to be in vain. I want to see _that_ future.”

The future. The path where she is no longer afraid of what tomorrow might bring. The timeline when she is able to see the same sky she ever longed. The moment when she is able to embrace the vast possibilities. That future with Hilda in it.

Lysithea didn’t know how long she had balled her fist on the table until Edelgard’s gloved hand reached to ease her iron grip.

“Lysithea,” she called. “I know you’re a strong woman. You’ll pull it off,” Edelgard clasped her right hand with both of hers. “You have my support. I will stand by any decision that you’ll make. Just make sure you choose the option is that you won’t regret.”

There is no decision that come without a risk, she knew it all too well. She, however, wanted assurance. She needed a push. This would be something life-changing for her – and true to Edelgard’s words, she must select a choice with no regret.

A month will pass so fast. Then again, Lysithea already made up her mind.

* * *

About two weeks later as Lysithea tried to be less affected with Hilda’s progress with the artisan school, she paid another visit to a certain songstress. Lysithea happened to spot Dorothea lounging in front of the bar they ever visited on a certain day. Lysithea was glad to call it a day to her paperwork early.

It was a fine evening. It felt not as cold as other night, despite the Guardian Moon being the coldest month of the year. A calm weather like this is a perfect time for a little walk for fresh air.

Her frequency of coming back to her close-to-be-forgotten rented room is increasing. Though mostly, Hilda is busy over something, or she is out of Enbarr to meet up with Marianne somewhere (so she said in the letter that she left).

Just like today, Lysithea was back when Hilda was about to depart with her brown-skinned wyvern. The pinkette said about meeting with Caspar at Fort Merceus while talking about the possibility of speeding up the logistics coming through from Faerghus to Enbarr.

Lysithea tried hard not to ask about the paperwork progress, bidding Hilda a good luck instead. Hilda replied with a big grin and a big hug. The pinkette might be shorter than her, yet she seems so big that Lysithea appeared small in her arms. Guess it is the difference between Hilda’s bulky build and clothes versus her petite frame and mage’s robes. Even when Lysithea tried to embrace her from behind during the wyvern ride, her stretched arm unable to reach Hilda enough.

The small gesture reminded her of how Hilda was, during their school days, would hug her out of nowhere and gushed about how she wanted to dress her up. It was all in the past now, but Lysithea thought of it as something nice to remember. Hilda might be one to think she is young and repeatedly say that she is cute, unlike Claude who will treat her as a kid – and Lysithea could appreciate Hilda's input over so many things.

After seeing Hilda took her flight, her initial plan was to wait until Dorothea is finished of her performance by the day. Luckily, Dorothea was in front of the bar, reading on a stack of letter. The bar alley started to pack with people, though Dorothea’s seat was clear of anybody. The barista and her staffs should have kept unwanted fans away as Dorothea took her break there. It’s the only explanation Lysithea could conjure as some of the suited men from the bar taking their turns to clear the entrance.

“Dorothea!”

Lysithea waved from the roadblock, garnering the diva’s attention right away. She stuffed the letters she was reading back to its envelopes before walking over. Lysithea could see a glimpse of the front of the letter, a big written word of ‘Brigid’ emblazoned at the middle of the envelope.

“Do you have a time now?” the snow-haired woman asked. They talked between the railings of the bar’s entrance.

“I’m free tonight,” the brunette answered without hesitation. She offered Lysithea a seat but Lysithea shook her head right away, stating her urgency. “Does Edie or Hubie needs me?”

Her tone was all business. Sometimes, Lysithea would be there to relay a message from Hubert or Edelgard to her as both of them are busy. Mittelfrank Opera Company during the aftertimes of war served as a center of information gathering within their tour all around Fodlan. The idea of incognito troupe came from Hubert, of course; and majority of the troupe members agreed with the proposition.

“Oh, no. I’m the one who need your help,” her voice decreased. “I’m … thinking of searching a gift for someone. Mind if I ask for your assistance? Edelgard is out of the town right now, so I come to you.”

Dorothea’s smile curled sharper, more mischievous. Lysithea didn’t like the premonition, “For Hilda, right?”

“H—how did you know!?” she blurted, only to add more fuel to the latter’s amusement.

Lysithea was embarrassed, cheeks flushed at Dorothea’s merry laughter. First Ferdinand, and now Dorothea? Did she become so easy to read? How come that everyone can guess it just on the first try?

“From my viewpoint, it was so obvious that you and—“

“Wait, hold up!” Lysithea interjected. “I, I understand that you’d make me feel better but … I wanted to know it from Hilda herself,” Dorothea blinked. “I mean, well, yeah. S-something like that.”

After what it felt like a long pause and Lysithea ran out of reasonable explanations to turn everything around, Dorothea ran her fingers to her fluffy hair, giving her a lot of head pats. In retaliation, Lysithea wanted to shrink on the spot or dig a hole for her to hide somewhere.

“You’re so adorable, Lys.”

“Stop it, Dorothea.”

“Where are we going for your idea of presents for your beloved, then?”

“_Dorothea_.”

“Hey, I’m on the money with that, right? Come on, there’s nothing to shy about from a young maiden in love~”

_‘Young maiden in love’_—surely Lysithea never know that there will come a day when she experienced such thing.

* * *

“You lied to me, Lys.”

“Did I ever say to you about this? I recall I never did.”

Exactly a week after Lysithea got her own present, in one fine afternoon without snowfall or snowstorm, her office door opened to someone who wanted to ask for the stamp of approval.

Edelgard asked Lysithea to be around Enbarr while she and Byleth stayed in Arianrhod for quite some time. Edelgard then said for her not to come to Fhirdiad for the time being to focus on governmental work by the Adrestia region, and that she would speak to Hanneman about this so Lysithea doesn’t have to worry about the Crest Research.

Okay, that is not the main focus of her span of work at this moment—in front of her now stood Hilda with a mixed expression of anger, astonishment and amusement as she handed stack of documents for Lysithea to check.

One thing she kept from Hilda is the fact that Lysithea _is_ one of the officer who handled internal affairs—or can be said, the appointed higher-ups just below Minister in ranks with a power of authority. From the beginning when Hilda said about ‘proceeding the papers in the right steps’, Lysithea refrained herself to tell whether Hilda can have the fastest shortcut.

It was a bad decision, though, if Hilda opted to do the quick route—Lysithea won’t be so amused.

“You should say from the beginning that you are the last on the list!”

“But you said that you’ll do it ‘without our help’.” Lysithea recited. Her eyes scanned upon the lines and signs that Hilda had collected. Her lips curved to a smile.

“I—I did! But! _Ugh_!” Hilda buried her face to her palms, suppressing a groan. “Meanie.”

“Oh, yes I am.” And watching Hilda squirmed like that, it is a treat. “Speaking of which, where’s the sample of the accessory? The notes here from the town council said that you must include it.”

Lysithea looked up to Hilda, who’s standing with her boots tapping on the floor restlessly. Hilda responded Lysithea’s question with a long hum, then, “Sorry, Miss Officer, but it is written there that I can say that the sample is a secret until the opening of the artisan school. And writing ‘accessory’ in the description box is deemed as passable.”

At that, Lysithea scrambled at the written rule book. Upon spotting the Rule 56 of the administrator-related submission and it is stated just like Hilda claimed, it is Lysithea’s turn to groan aloud.

_So she cannot exert her own shortcut to take a glimpse of the accessory, what a bummer._

“It’s 1 – 1, Lady Ordelia.” Hilda boasted, hands on her hips as she puffed her chest in proud notion. “Now, I believe my required documents should be satisfactory enough to get your lovely stamp over there~”

_Really, when exactly she ever got a taste of her victory longer than mere minutes? Not to mention, her opponent is the vicious, cunning Hilda Valentine Goneril._

That being said, Hilda was not wrong about her documents are passable, so Lysithea flipped back to the first page and stamped the document at the provided box. Hilda took back the papers with a toothy sneer, then spared a flying kiss as she retreated out of the room before Lysithea could scream.

Not long, however, Hilda peered back to the room, “You’ll come to the grand opening, right?”

“When will it be?” Lysithea held back her grumble as she leaned her back to the chair.

“Next Tuesday, around 9 AM.”

Lysithea checked on the schedule table on her desk. Next Tuesday should already be in Pegasus Moon, 3rd day. A scribble with red ink is already occupied the space: a ‘little’ meeting with Hubert and his underground cahoots – Vestra Sorcery Engineers. The appointment should be a ‘little’ exercise of Shambala’s technology and magic.

“I’m sorry, I won’t make it.”

At that, Hilda droop her shoulders. Lysithea spun her thoughts as quick as she could; it is a big day for Hilda, how can she not be there? Can she pinch in an alternatives? Like, anything?

She looked around, her gaze fell to the direction of the office window. The snow has thawed from covering the window, perhaps it is a sign of no more snowfall and whether the air would grow warmer in a preparation of coming spring. Though, it has yet to be the Pegasus Moon, or it is simply due to Adrestia’s warmer weather.

“But, maybe I can meet up with you in the afternoon. How about we go to the Enbarr port?”

“Enbarr port?” Hilda asked, her face lighted up.

“We haven’t had a time to go there, remember?”

The pinkette vigorously nodded at the idea. Lysithea was relieved to see it. “Yes, take me there!”

“No swimming, though. The water is freezing. I don’t want to fill in a report of someone who brazenly dive to the sea and getting frostbite.”

“I know, I know, geez.”

Hilda excused herself from Lysithea’s office, her cheerful humming echoed through the palace halls for as long as Lysithea could remember, whilst Lysithea folded her arms on her desk, muffled her satisfied sigh beneath.

“… Next Tuesday, huh?”

* * *

Even Hubert pointed out to her a lot later during the ‘small’ excursion that Lysithea had her attention somewhere else, in which Lysithea told Hubert to try minding something else instead of her personal affairs.

The next Tuesday came faster than how she could catch her breath amidst the usual amount of work. Before the date, she waited and waited for the day to come. But as the day is there knocking on her doors, a churn is there in a pit of her stomach. She wasn’t ready. She is not ready. She is walking in the air. But she won’t cower in fear or run away.

“If Lady Edelgard is the one who sees you like this, you’d be just a plaything on her fingers.”

His sinister laugh rumbled the room in grim fashion. He would not be silent on something that piqued his interest, mostly if it is about spotting other’s weakness. Around him, Lysithea was no longer feel intimidated, but as of now, she didn’t want Hubert to spot her as a softie.

“Hubert, I told you to shut up.”

“I’m just saying.”

The ‘small’ meeting dragged longer than she had expected and she found herself bolting from the room when Hubert told everyone that the meeting is adjourned.

Of many things she dislike in the world one of them is to be late on an appointment. Lysithea said to Hilda that she would go to the artisan school around the afternoon, though never mentioned an exact hour. So far as Lysithea gathered from their conversation last night, Hilda would be in the class at the morning, then she would accept the registration form until lunch hour. After the form is collected, she would check it one-by-one, while drafted the students to the group of class hour they wished of.

The artisan school’s location, thankfully, is not that far from the palace. It is one of spacious old building available. treated as a storehouse before Hilda bought the property.

“You don’t need to run like that, I won’t go anywhere.”

Hilda was waiting in front of the doors, greeting the breathless Lysithea who came to halt when Hilda is all grinning. She was sitting on the topmost space of the cobblestone stairs, her wyvern angled its head to her way as it is tied on the nearby pole. The pinkette tapped on the spot beside her for Lysithea to sit down and catch her breath.

“Sorry that I’m late.”

Lysithea apologized, as fast as she get a hold of her breathing. Hilda chuckled, taking Lysithea’s hand from the floor, helping her up. Her right hand busied along the rein of the brown-skinned wyvern, and her left entangled with Lysithea as she guided her down the stairs.

“You are never too late, Lys.” the pinkette’s hand, as it is gloved, was so warm in pale comparison to her frigid one. It’s the only thing Lysithea is concerned about right now, aside from the brilliant, sunny smile. “Shall we go to the port, then?”

* * *

As how the port's policy served during wintertime, they were unable to get close to the port, let alone to walk on the wooden docks leading to the fishing spot which is not too far from the shores. In addition to the report of some foolish people happened to trespass and swim on the sea during this harsh weather, the place they could venture into is limited to the stone walkaway before the port.

Lysithea joked that she is thankful that Hilda was not the one to try any sort of stupid stunts with the sea, in which Hilda replied with a playful slap on the back.

They stopped on the tallest hedge of the fortress where they could see the vast sea near Enbarr up close. The crashing waves was not so big as the fisherman reported to Lysithea once, but it is indeed dangerous to stay too close to the sea for so long.

The afternoon sky in the Pegasus Moon wasn’t exactly orange in color, as cloud gathered and coldness spread around the air like a thick mist. The afternoon air, however, was enough for Lysithea to reenact the memory of that time they shared quietly at Derdriu; wounded and winded. However, this moment is not exactly the same at those days: they are both well, the war has ended, aside from personal mission that deemed to be endless, Hilda has accomplished another page of her dream and Lysithea has her resolution.

“What’s the mystery accessory?” Lysithea asked, curious.

Hilda rummaged on the strapped pocket leather on her hips for a silver chain. At the center of the lines lies a small red locket with a tinge of gold running in a shape of a deer head. It reminded Lysithea of a Crest Stone on a Crest Weapon, though by the construction, it seems the locket can be opened to stuff something, or perhaps it is just a mere decoration.

Lysithea’s silent appreciation on the craftsmanship led her to forget that the necklace is meant for her.

“That’s … for me?”

“Yup. It’s the accessory for Adrestia’s first branch of artisan school.” Hilda chanted the full name.

“It really is for me?”

“Oh my God, Lysithea.”

“S-Sorry, it’s just … it’s beautiful. I …”

“If you wanted to say you are not worthy of this, you are mistaken and you’ll make the creator sad.”

Lysithea effectively clammed up. Her eyes studied the details of the silver necklace once more. Of the deer ornaments. Of the locket shape. And back to Hilda and the way she stared at Lysithea. She is waiting for something.

“Can you help me to wear it?”

Hilda’s lips parted open, before it closed all to fast. She parted the connector chain, but instead on asking Lysithea to turn around, her request pronounced stronger like the afternoon wind that bested them.

“Close your eyes.”

Though, as she believed Hilda won’t do anything strange, Lysithea closed her eyes as commanded.

The chilling wind continued to blow to the direction of the sea, to where they were standing, then again Lysithea didn’t quite feel the coldness. The cold silver brushing against the skin of her neck, clashing with Ordelia family heirloom that she worn over her chest. At the following minute, Lysithea didn’t relish on the necklace anymore as a different sensation robbed her of anything else.

It was short, but the touch on her lips was fervent. The clicking noise at the back of her neck signaled as the end of the kiss, and as she opened her eyes, she could see Hilda and only Hilda. Her expression was close on tearing up. She didn’t remove her hands from Lysithea’s collarbone just yet. Her thumb ghosted on her chin.

“Was it too fast …?”

Lysithea, of course, couldn’t hide her surprise. It must be what Hilda looked at right now, the point that rendered the ever-confident Hilda with a dash of hesitation. The snow-haired woman tried her best to smile, assuring Hilda as much as she assured herself right at that moment. She took both of Hilda’s hands to cup on her flamed cheeks and tapped their foreheads together.

“You are never too fast, Hilda. It’s just like you.”

With the push, Hilda kissed on the bridge of the nose next.

“It’s your fault for making me wait for one and a half year, you know.”

“You do know that it takes more than courage to do it and I’m … nowhere as strong as you.”

“Lies.” Hilda corrected. “No one in Golden Deer is weak. And not you, the one who stood still after the face of war and hardships.”

Lysithea brushed her nose to Hilda’s, seeing at it started to run as tears overflown. She gestured Hilda to remove herself away from a bit. Hilda blinked, though she widened her eyes as Lysithea raised a ring adorned in ruby for Hilda to see. The box felt like a hindrance since she is in hurry, so she stuffed it somewhere that even Hubert won’t suspect. It might not expensive, or even handmade, but Lysithea was satisfied to be able to pick it.

“Will you walk with me to the future where we are together?”

And just then, Lysithea barely knew that Hilda is more crybaby than how Lysithea ever profiled her to be. Hilda answered her with a strong hug and a loud bawl, the one that made her choke up with tears as well.

Lysithea slipped the ring on Hilda’s finger then they shared another kiss, this time longer, and they stayed there until the dusk is dreaming.


End file.
